pygmy lush.   i love them & it’s a stupid kind of love, a way-too-in-love-love, a you-can’t-possibly-be-this-cool-in-real-life…..right?-love.  i’m talkin some tina fey, jennifer aniston , vincent donofrio kinda shit.   because you know better, because yr internal realist says “well there was that whole being married to Brad Pitt thing, and Alec Baldwin’s yr boss, plus yr like an 8 foot tall cop. yr so out of my league.”

but whatever. yr a sucker. and then at some point they start dating john mayer and you have to give up on them, or maybe they drive back to sterling, va to go back to work (pygmy lush) and you move on to richmond to keep playing weird punk shows (des ark). and yr love is put on hold. and you wake up the next morning & yr coffee tastes like shit, you wanna shave yr head, yr sick of eating bruised apples you find on the passenger mat of yr car & everything’s working right but everything’s just wrong.

speaking of richmond, i said a lot of mean things to you guys last night.  and i’m really glad that [some of] you can take a joke, because it’s truly a useful personality trait.  i could write a whole essay on why i think it’s important to make a point of getting people to get other people to shut the fuck up, and in my essay i would talk some about how quiet bands i go on tour with totally encourage my mean behavior by constantly reinforcing their appreciation through pats on the back and whispered sentences like “thanks for being the authoritative hushing fascist asshole i could never be…” but when i finished my essay on the politics of being a relentless but purposeful asshole, and i wanted to tell somebody about it, this is how i think it’d go:

“blah blah blah, yeah, that [____] dude is a weird bipolar freak about people talking during his show.”
& i’d be like
“well, actually i wrote this essay about—”
and they’d interrupt me to be like
“oh snap! speaking of which, remember that essay steve albini wrote about how major labels, like, are like, like SCREWING indie bands [that were too dumb to know better]?  wow, man, that shit was so, like, right on. yeah.”
and that’s where i go, in my head, or myabe not i dunno
“christ, people. i loved big black but ENOUGH about steve albini already.”  

anyway, i’m getting kicked out of this coffeeshop now.  but i was just writing to say i’m alive & that there are a lot of geese in richmond.  go listen to pygmy lush! feathers